Cover art for the single! Click for full size.

Ugh...

I have discovered that there is no faster way to feel like a complete ass than to shoot a music video. I am not an actor. I do not comfortably emote with my face in a way that can be seen 20 feet away. And when the camera rolls, it magically makes me forget all the words to the song I wrote. I feel like a big fat asshole with a guitar.

Working in front of a greenscreen is kind of like this picture, but with 100 billion more lights. Hot, bright lights. THOUSANDS OF THEM. It was very hard not to squint and scowl. 

If you want to simulate the experience, try this at home: take out the metal racks in your oven and set it on broil. Then lay face up with your head on the bottom of the oven, and stare straight at the broiler heating element. The oven door will make it impossible to lay flat without painfully twisting your back into an unnatural position - that's okay, it's part of the experience. Next, get two high output halogen lamps and place one on either side of your head as close to your eyes as possible. Turn the lights on the highest possible setting. But don't squint, not ever. You'll ruin the shot. Now, while remaining absolutely motionless, sing along with a five minute song you can barely hear. Don't forget to replicate with exact precision every nuance of your vocal and instrumental timing from the recording session, or you'll ruin the shot. Don't forget to not squint, no matter how bright the lights are. Don't move around, no matter how much your back aches. Don't look at the lights, ever. And it's gonna get hot in there, but for the love of god, don't sweat. You'll ruin the shot. Got all that? Good, now do it 25 more times, but with more feeling, and then we'll call it a day. And don't forget to smile this time OR YOU'LL RUIN THE FUCKING SHOT.

Video Daily Double!

Filming was... interesting. I've been the guy behind the camera for so long that I forgot what it was like to take direction and do multiple takes. I can't honestly say it's something I really enjoy, but seeing the finished product come together is such a gratiying experience that it's worth all the retakes you could possibly shoot. 

Tonight we shot about 35 seconds of finished footage. I know that sounds like a ridiculously small accomplishment to show for an entire night's work, but those were an important 35 seconds. They not only serve as the opening shots of the video, but they allowed us to time the click track to the opening footage. I had never heard of a click track before, and what it is essentially is a copy of the song with sharp beeps added in time with the music. The beeps make it easier to synch what you see with what you hear in the editing software, meaning that now we can more easily drop in footage from subsequent shoots. If we were building a house, then tonight we poured a solid foundation and started framing one of the walls. Not too shabby for a night's work.

First day of filming for the video

Filming the first bit of footage tonight. Should be interesting. I'll let you know how it goes.

The final mix is finally finalized! Finally!

And the song is finished! With a few effects and some level tweaking, the song is complete. Soon the entire world will be rocking to the sound of me and the guys from FireHawk fucking the Netherlands. Of course, we still need the Rock Band Network "clean" mix and a b-side, but "Fuck The Netherlands" itself is a done deal.

 

Huge thanks to Quentin Baker and Elden White for their incredible support, musical talent, and patience with recording and mixing. It's not easy being new to all this, but you guys made it a blast. And thanks to everyone else for all the encouragement along the way. Keep your ears open, the song will be out soon!

Fuck the tulips and the herring and the stupid wooden shoes...

I don't know if they got fjords or not, but fuck 'em if they do.

And fuck 'em most of all 'cause they've got you.

Fuck the Netherlands. 

"Fuck The Netherlands" lyrics and music by Christopher Woodall, © 2010. All rights reserved. Lyrics reprinted with permission.